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WritingGroupNotes

Page history last edited by PBworks 17 years, 9 months ago

Moonbeams & Dragonsongs

p3--sum up
p9-counting the stars--what are his feelings about losing the moon and the stars
david wants to bring it to eruuf
how/where to market it -- too short for a book, too long for a short story
a few cliches to squash
"and so"-- overused?
disc'n of other titles
mindfulness with his superior vision

parallels -- past and future
how old is gail? where does she live? whose house is jerry taking her to?
WHY IS SHE HERE?
are gail's questions more for the reader's benefit?
why does this happen tody? what's spurring on this action?
wouldn't she know about this family history before now?
what impression did i want to make? need a stronger voice?
not a strong impression--is it a story? nothing's clarified with granny's revelation
momentum
blurred
intro jerry earlier? why is jerry picking her up here?
ages of children--significance of the compression of events
dialogue is interviewesque
pacing drags till the bombshell
no character descriptions--ages?
objects appear and disappear from nowhere
Food Network
close 3rd with Gail -- details are visual, not emotional language